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About the author - Deb Melton

A graduate of the Coaching School at the Fearless Living Institute and Relationship Coaching Institute, she is a Certified Fearless Living Coach and a Certified Singles Coach. She has also been an elementary school teacher, workshop and seminar leader, sales trainer, ski instructor and hiking guide for a weigh-loss retreat center for women.

Deb's philosophy is, it's never too late to find the love of your life and live the life you love! After being married for 29 years, Deb is now a happy, energetic single living in Denver.

Deb's website: DenverSinglesCoach.com
deb@denversinglescoach.com (303) 986-2223

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What to Ask Before Commitment

Most common dating practices of today are not the best way to find your ideal mate.

So you go to a dance and meet someone that you are attracted to. She’s all dressed up and looks her best for the dance. So does he. Clothes are pressed, clean shave, he looks good. You talk for awhile about where you work and if you have kids and how old they are. You laugh together and generally have a good time. At the end of the evening, you exchange phone numbers.

Second meeting, official first date, you go out for dinner. Wanting to impress her, he takes her to a nice restaurant and orders a bottle of wine. You talk some more, laugh a little, hold hands and make eye contact. You smile a lot. And at the end of the evening you kiss goodnight.

Sound familiar? We’ve all done it. So we go out again and again, to a movie or to a concert or a club and if it goes on for several weeks we begin to assume that we will be spending out weekends together or at least our weekend evenings, if not the entire weekend. We get along and like the same things and after awhile talk about moving in together. After all we enjoy each other and the sex is good, so why not? What else is there to know? Right?

Wrong! There’s plenty! There is much more to identifying your life partner than just getting along and liking some of the same things. This is where most people go wrong in choosing a mate. David Steele, founder of Relationship Coaching Institute and a marriage and family therapist for many years says this; “I have spent many years….helping struggling, unhappy couples keep their relationships alive. I have become acutely aware that with better information and support couples would be able to make good relationship choices before making a commitment. In a relationship there are solvable and unsolvable problems…… The issues that break couples up are easily identified prior to making a commitment. Unfortunately, individuals tend to either minimize these issues or be unaware of them.”

How well do you know yourself?

What is it that you are here to do in this lifetime?

What do you truly value in yourself and in another person?

What are you working toward and why?

What is it that you think having a life partner or soulmate will bring to your life?

What do you need to feel truly loved?

What do you want to give and why?

These are the kinds of questions you will want to have the answers to before you start dating. And these are the kinds of questions you will want to find out from anyone you are considering as a life partner.