|Are You Tuned in To The Love Channel?
By Lorraine Banfield MA, NCC, AHC,
Author - Speaker - Life Coach
Single Professionals - Successful singles creating lasting relationships.
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Lakewood, CO 80227
Are You Tuned in To The Love Channel?
On my way to work this morning I ran into one of my neighbors, a man in his early fifties who is divorced. He said he was moving and as neighbors do, I asked him where he was moving to and he said to a smaller place. He then indicated that his place was too big for one person, that when he was married it was a good place to live. He’d tried having roommates but they kept falling in love and moving out. I told him that that could happen to him as well, but he shrugs and says, “I doubt it.” So I said, "Come on, you can have that too, you just have to be open to it and available. He tells me he’s tired of love, all it ever does is cost him money and aggravation. I smiled and told him he needed to be less negative and that love would find him if he just gave it a chance.
As I walked away I told him he had to believe to receive – then I waved and said, “I wish you love.” And then I began to softly hum that old standard to myself. This song has been around since the fifties and has been recorded by just about everyone -my favorites are sung by Frank Senarta and Michael Buble. The song begins with a love that didn’t work out but when the one who is ending it leaves he sings this song to her…
I wish you bluebirds in the spring - To give your heart a song to sing
That’s my wish for you today. I wish you love. Whether you are single like my neighbor or in a relationship – let the love come in and find you because love is everywhere. It’s in the beautiful fall day we are having today, the majestic mountains we can see every single day for those of us who live here in Colorado, it’s in the smile of a child, it’s that friend that called you the other day when you really needed to talk to someone, it’s in that delicious dinner you had last night, it’s in the smooth, clean sheets you put on your bed this morning, it’s in the greeting of a neighbor, even the fact that you have a nice, cozy home to go to tonight after work and it’s in the fact that you have a job or that if you don’t, there are jobs out there and it’s only a matter of time until you find one, because we live in one of the most prosperous and yes, love filled nations on the planet.
Now these things are not romantic love, but once we open ourselves up to loving where we live, what we have in our lives in terms of material things and who is in our lives as friends, family and neighbors then we will become loving individuals and once this becomes a habit then we attract romantic love to us – that’s just the way it works. Like attracts like – love attracts love. Think about it!
As for those of you who are saying a silent, yes, but, let me say this, "Just open your heart and soul to it!" An old friend once told me, “Fake it till you make it,” and this is good advice for a lot of things, especially love. It’s like a channel opens up the minute you start looking around you for all the things you love. Once you have that channel - I call it the love channel - then love in all its forms begins to flow into it and this of course includes romantic love.
I would also like to remind you to make a special effort to include yourself in what you love. First and foremost we need to love ourselves, but not in an egotistical or narcissistic way but in a reverent way – we were given life by a force beyond our own doing whether we believe this happened via a religious or spiritual source or not. It didn't happen by our own personal design so having gratitude for it is to have reverence for it, regardless of how it happened. To love ourselves is to love what we’ve been given by that force and to not love ourselves is to denigrate the source of our being.
By the way, if saying you love yourself sounds too grandiose or too egotistical for you or it just feels too prideful then take an inventory of your strengths and view these as your gifts. For most people, valuing and respecting one's gifts is not too difficult. Then if you use these gifts for the betterment of others then love will simply flow toward you – you’ve created the channel and now love flows into that channel.
If, on the other hand, you find that none of this makes sense or you feel that you have no gifts or that you are in some way unlovable, then this is the perfect time to seek out some help from a caring professional whether a minister or a therapist.
The key to all this is to look around and love all the bountiful and beautiful things around you. Tune in to the love channel and see what’s playing. I bet you’ll find so much love you will wonder how you ever thought there wasn’t enough to go around. But remember, even though much love comes from the outside, in order to see it and appreciate it fully you will need to go inside and love yourself to, then all you have to do is be ready, willing and open to romantic love showing up in your life if you are single and it returning if you are married or in a relationship.
Tune in to the love channel and get yourself some love – anybody can, it’s up to you. Again, I wish you love, romantic love but also, love of life, love of family, love of friends and every other kind of love that is humanly possible.